love you...bye

so tonight was one of those nights where my heart totally melted onto the floor.....

like every other two year old (at least i think) bedtime is a challenging time. ever since we've moved parker to a big boy bed, we have good nights and we have had bad nights. lately we've had more "bad" nights so to say.

for some reason now parker insists on having the light on in his room. the normal routine is bath time, read books, pray and then parker is allowed to read a while in his room before it's lights out. we've found he does better having A LOT of down time in his room before going to bed. so around 8:15ish either b or i (usually b!) goes up and tucks him in bed for good and turns out the light and turns on the fan. well lately, he's been getting out of bed after lights out.....

tonight i happened to be upstairs when this happened, so i went back in and tucked him back in bed as i informed him that if he got out of bed again i would take away his latest love, thomas the train. 2 seconds later i found myself wishing i hadn't made that promise as he got back out of bed. as hard as it was and as cute as he is, i had to stick to my word. so out of the room goes thomas.....

complete meltdown....

multiple times more of getting out of bed and supernanny technique in full effect--no talking. no eye contact. no nothing. just putting him back in bed...

then the sweetest little voice comes out the door and down the hall "pabi", the beloved paci he hasn't had in MONTHS. total regression moment. my heart is breaking, "pabi" was like a best friend to him.

in i go, holding back tears, not saying a word and without parker saying a word, up into the air goes his little arms wanting me to pick him up and hold him....

i cave. of course. CAN YOU BLAME ME????

BUT I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING (supernanny would be proud!)....

UNTIL he takes both of his little hands, grabs my face, STARES directly into my eyes and says "love you, bye" (this is what we say every night as we leave his room::it's our tradition). sorry supernanny, NO WAY i cannot respond to this incredibly sweet little boy wanting the security of his mommy. i held onto that sweet little boy like i never have before and my heart melted.....